Into the wild

Saturday, January 8, 2011

For long I’ve wondered if I can ever forget the man Christopher Johnson McCandles. The movie fascinated me, but that fascination was mainly childish and amateurish, cause I do not think I could full comprehend the movie and McCandles or "Alexander supertramp" as he liked to call himself.
It was the second or the third time that I began to understand the movie (but that’s how it is with all the great movies isn’t it.. remember matrix,2046, batman begins and forrest gump ?), but it wasnt untill i read that wonderful book by the same name that i fell in love with 'into the wild.'

McCandles and Tom sawyer had one thing in common. The overwhelming desire to be free of rules and society. I suppose mark twain could only write about it (and admitted it sometime when he said that after all instead of being a riverboat pilot he has ended up trying to please the public) and McCandles did it, although at the cost of his life.

But in McCandles there was more than this desire. Twain just didn’t like the idea of society but didn’t mind it much – as some would call it – a necessary evil. He still liked to be admired and be called a hero, but McCandles plainly detested the idea of a society, whatever be the reasons. Although  I’d like to believe that I am wrong, and deep down he did love his parents inspite of all their follies and he did love this world’s people inspite of all their follies.

Christopher McCandles led an inspiring life. Although I am sure there are many like him, and his story got famous because unfortunately he lost his life to his dreamy pursuits, but nevertheless few can do what he did.

This life is my bitch

Saturday, January 1, 2011

As I learn to fly, I try to inhale life.

sometimes it chokes me, and sometimes it makes me smile in my moments of silence,

but its never enough, will never be.

Yet this life is my bitch, and will remain forever.

:)

Happy new year 2011.

my second last cigerrete

Friday, November 5, 2010

Its just about twelve.

And I am just about to finish my second last cigerrete.

Don’t ask why second last?

And for god’s sake don’t say u smoke cigerretes ?? Its injurious to health.

The only thing injurious to health is a compromise.

By the way, its diwali. The grand festival of happiness and prosperity and good health and all..

Just prior to the aarti, my friend asked me this question, “so you are a believer, or a non believer ” ?

And I said I am a believer.

Now there are a few reasons for why I said that.

Firstly, I was in a bad mood (festivals and b’days always manage to get me in a sour mood) and

seeing the flicker of lamp and praying has always pacified my restless soul. In fact, that was the main reason I went there, to do the aarti.

:)

Secondly I am a believer, because it comforts me. Lets me believe that there is someone whom I can talk to when I have no one to talk to, that there is someone who I can shout at when I want to shout, and that there is someone whom I can thank when I feel blessed and happy.

Of course, there might not be a god actually, or there may be one.

But I have chosen to believe, and so there is one.

Coming to the cigerrete. It was sort of a cigar actually.

This one was lying in my green bag for the last one year. In fact, I was supposed to smoke it a year back with my friend sati sir in Goa. Both of us were gifted one cigar each by another friend.

But as always, when we were packing for Goa, I forgot it in my bag. So we smoked the cigar which he carried. And decided to smoke the second one later.

And now, one year later I just decided to smoke it alone. Waise bhi, I think its too late for a company. :)

Why I smoked that cigerrete ?

For not particular reason actually.

In fact, I don’t know why people take to smoking as a habit.  Maybe even they don’t know that.

Maybe because it dosent leave you with guilt and hangovers.

So the cigarette.

I smoked it because I figured out, that a “mans got to do what a mans got to do” (the dialogue is from love actually)

I may not be able to play the guitar, the violen and the piano yet.

I may not be able to dance yet.

But I will learn it one day.

I am more sure of it now, after losing everything, then I was ever before.

My rightful place in the world.

The justification of my life.

All of it, will come, will come.

phoonk de..

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Call it a writer’s block, or my arrogance… but I didn’t want to write again.

Did miss that deleted blog sometimes, but I think it was alright to delete all that negative trash.

Saw No smoking some days back and was mighty impressed by it.

So I am supposed to write something abt it, at least that’s what bro suggested (cause I’ve eaten half his mind praising that movie for the last two days)

But that alone isn’t the reason. I really don’t care about writing reviews.

The thing is that its two in the night, and even after that long run I went for I cant get any sleep.

So kuch to karna hai, bed pe pade to nahin reh sakte… So might as well write.

I really don’t know why I was impressed by No smoking. Most of the movie going population of india didn’t like it. Or should I say ‘didn’t understand it’. After watching it, even I asked myself that whats the whole point of the movie. I mean its nice and all, but whats the meaning.

Its no love story (in fact, the way ‘kamina’ and ‘kamini’ bubbles pop out of lead actress and actor’s mind is quite funny), its no revenge story, its not even those happily ever after ones..

Its just a plot.

I initially thought that since its called no smoking, so its one of those movies which can make smokers quit smoking… ha

Yeah, I know. How naïve...

Not that I like smoking, but its not a very bad habit. People do worse things and we all know that.

I think its like the story of Jews of WW2, who died helplessly at the hands of hatred (and there a hint of the same in the movie too)

But this is my version, and besides watching the movie, reading Anurag’s blog also helped me reach at this version. (my friend Manish will be very happy to read that – if he ever reads it. He thinks I am too dumb to understand ‘intelligent’ movies)

Its true that our perceptions are largely responsible for our understanding of things, and therefore different people will make different opinions about a movie like No smoking.

But I like to understand art, the way the creator of that art understands it, and I suppose hopes for the people to understand it.

So maybe (my parents hate it when I use this word) my version is closer to the actual version (Anurag Kashyap’s version)... So here it goes..

Jews were helpless at the hands of circumstances surrounding them. But K wasn’t. In a way he was, cause he didn’t know what was happening to him.

Maybe he did love his wife more that he loved smoking cigarettes. Or maybe he just went there cause his ego was uncomfortable with the idea of his wife leaving him over his habit of smoking.

But see what he ends up with..

Losing his soul.

I know its sounds funny, but that was the price he had to pay for quitting.

And he did was helpless.

I wondered why is it so difficult for some people to quit smoking.

I understand it now. Cant tell how I came to this understanding, but I do understand it now.

They cant quit cause in their minds they’re not convinced that its much of a vice.

Its just a cigarette after all.

And unless you’re convinced in your mind that is a bad thing, you’ll never be able to quit.

I wish ‘K’ knew this. He’d have never gone to that evil sadist master of black magic.

All he needed was to make a choice in his mind.

I guess ‘K,’ like me, wanted to make his own mistakes.

So much for no smoking, I’ll tell you something I thought of on my way back from the Run today.

There are only three absolutes in this world.

Birth, Death, and Passion.

The first two are God’s job (actually the second one can be ours also, but its not really a good idea. It takes guts to live)

Speaking of the third one.

Everything that happens between the first two depends on the choices we make. And if those choices are driven by passion, and an uncompromising vision of what you think is true, then you’ll live a happy life, and more than that, you’ll die a happy man.

Or as Someone said to Vincent Van Gough – Your life will be justified.